Love my Turkey. Hate my Wattle.

What do I have in common with the turkey that comes to dinner for Thanksgiving?

No. Not Uncle Jack. It’s my neck – with its fleshy, jiggly wattle.

Lord, I do hate it! I think it makes me look old.

The skin on the neck has less elasticity than the skin on or face. So aging, gravity, weight gain all tend to stretch it out and it just hangs there.


Facial exercises are supposed to be helpful in actually tightening the muscle behind that wattle. Tilt your head back. Lift your chin and press your tongue against the roof of your mouth. Count to 10. Relax. Repeat for three weeks and you will see less wiggle in your wattle.

I manage to remember to do this about every 10 days. Maybe I should write it down on my To Do List.

Medical Remedies

Other options are botox and surgery. Neither is a viable option for me. I am vain but  will not spend $$$ on something as frivolous, and possibly dangerous, as botox. That money is reserved for dinners out and vacations. And surgery on my knees was a no brainer. Surgery on my wattle is brainless.

SO what to do about the wiggly wattle under my chin?

  • Always use sunscreen and moisturizer. It may not restore the elasticity but it feels good.
  • Invest in beautiful statement necklaces. Attention focuses a bit lower than my neck. I have always believed in wearable art. Now I know that it is a healthy investment.
  • Hide my neck. I have recently purchased several very pretty infinity scarves. Big puffs of light weight fabric in lots of lovely colors lifts my spirits and hides that wattle. (Turtle necks are an option for the gentlemen; though a handsome scarf during the winter can be very sexy.)

As I sit down to my Thanksgiving dinner with dear friends, my tongue will be very busy chatting and moving my dinner around. And my neck will be swathed in a soft folds of autumn colors + a statement necklace. Thoughts of my wattle will smothered by stuffing, gravy, cranberries, and very good friends.

2 thoughts on “Love my Turkey. Hate my Wattle.

    li class="comment even thread-even depth-1 parent" id="comment-380">
    Jessie Deans

    Thanks, I enjoyed your story. Telling of your neck wattle reminded me of a lovely book in my little library of ‘books that deserve a third and maybe even fourth read’ called ‘I feel bad about my neck’ and other thoughts on being a woman by Nora Ephron. Such a delightfully funny book with wisdom and advice about life as a woman of a certain age 🙂 I admire your brevity Tamera and will be following your blog as you journey on in Spain. Exciting! I am 70, have travelled minimally. Maybe you’ll inspire me to take the leap into the unknown myself. All the best! Safe travels.

      li class="comment byuser comment-author-tameralg bypostauthor odd alt depth-2" id="comment-398">

      Jessie, I am an Ephron fan and will look for that book!
      Thank you for following my blog. I hope my Spain experiences inspire you to go exploring. We all need to break our routine on occasion. Best to you.

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